Being Grateful and Appreciative

The following excerpt is from the self help psychology book, Be Your Own Therapist.

One recurring attribute of people who have happiness (or inner peace & contentment) is the attribute of being grateful and appreciative for what's all around them. This is an attribute that all of us could well cultivate, for it changes how we feel.

Our upsets tend to melt in the face of gratefulness. This is completely contrary to the current media emphasis on what is wrong. That emphasis is unhappy, so why would I want to limit myself to just the problems?

Why not emphasize some good stuff too? Therefore, throughout this book, I've included sections that can elicit these positive feelings within us. Just feeling some of that gratitude and appreciation will be a touch of healing (i.e., self-therapy) for us all. 

Gratitude...or Appreciation - By Joyce Shafer

A funny thing happened on the way to writing an article about Gratitude. I changed my consciousness.

For quite a while, I’ve been attaching "I'm grateful for" in front of all of my affirmations. I'd heard and accepted, the words of others who spoke about the importance of gratitude. But this morning, something was niggling at my brain. Something felt out of balance about this.

Gratitude, in this new state of mind, seemed to have a thought of lack attached to it. I’m a proponent of what quantum physicists and spiritual leaders expound: What you focus on, you get more of. Since this has been my own life experience, I wanted to look deeper.

Pulling the dictionary from the shelf, I looked up Gratitude: A feeling of thankful appreciation for favors or benefits received. I looked up Favor. Amidst the many variations of meaning was: A kind, obliging, friendly, or generous act. Benefit: A kindly, charitable act.

These definitions supported my underlying unrest about Gratitude. A favor, by its nature most of us have heard or read the phrase "I called in a favor" implies something done that obligates the receiver to the giver. Benefit carries the energy of charity. Both of these imply that someone is in a state of lack.

I moved on to Appreciation, or its root Appreciate: To think well of; understand and enjoy; recognize the value of. No mention of lack - just enjoyment, understanding and recognition of value, on some level, of something.

What's the significance or difference? Let’s try an example using both terms. You sit down to a meal and say, "I'm grateful." Behind that may lie gratitude that you aren't one of the starving millions on the planet or one of the homeless you passed on the street.

Now suppose you say, "I appreciate this." You appreciate the food and what it provides to your body. You appreciate every person who made it possible for you to be able to have access to the food whoever produced or acquired the food, the processors and packers, the store owner for providing a location where you could get it, the work you do that provides the funds to buy it.

It may seem a subtle distinction, but it’s there. When you read the last two paragraphs, what was your inner sense, your feeling, your gut level reaction? Which emotion or thought would you rather project outward: Fear of lack or appreciation?

What about giving? Find a way to attach appreciation to it, even if it’s only to appreciate the fact that you have something you can share with another. Work with this until you can remove any thought of lack you attach to the act or recipient.

The next time you pay a bill, ask yourself what you appreciate about the service or product it provides. When you go to make a purchase, ask yourself if the price is in alignment with the level of appreciation you'll feel for it once it's yours.

As you consider anything, even relationships, give thought to your level of appreciation in its regard. And, don’t be surprised at the insights that come to you when you put this into practice.

Gratitude as a Tool to Self-Esteem, Prosperity and Joy - By Linda Simmon

It’s that time of year again and with Thanksgiving just around the corner, this is the perfect time to take inventory of our lives and the perfect time to focus on the amazing and magical effects of thankfulness, appreciation and gratitude.

If you want to be the magnetic force in your own life, to have more financial wealth, more love, more joy, more fulfillment, more of whatever it is you want, then it's necessary to energetically align yourself with that which is already flowing into your life.

1. Look for evidence of current prosperity, love, joy, fulfillment, etc.

2. Honor it and finally

3. Invite more in.

In short, the more you acknowledge what you have, express your gratitude for it and believe that you will be given more, the more the Universe rewards you with all that you want and need.

Perhaps you currently find yourself at a cross-roads. A cross-road of resistance. Resistance to success, love, joy, happiness? So frequently we all resist that which we want most. In the face of such a wall of resistance, what will you do? Will you gather all of the resources at your disposal and rise above it, or will you back away and let resistance win.

Gratitude is a powerful tool that helps you break down that wall of resistance. Gratitude can be used as a transformational tool, as a tool that will shift your emotional state and increase your self-esteem.

"The Word 'appreciation' means to be thankful and express admiration, approval or gratitude. It also means to grow or appreciate in value. As you appreciate life, you become more valuable - both to yourself and others." Sara Paddison in The Hidden Power of the Heart: Discovering an Unlimited Source of Intelligence

"What you put out comes back. The more you sincerely appreciate life from the heart, the more the magnetic energy of appreciation attracts fulfilling life experiences to you, both personally and professionally." Doc Childre and Sara Paddison

Gratitude can literally and figuratively change your life. It allows you to tap into the transformative energies that are out there and available to you.

Being thankful can unlock the fullness of your life and make everything a bit sweeter and brighter and more joyful. As you appreciate your life, your passions, the uniqueness of who you're including all your experiences, you become more valuable to yourself and others. Attracting even more fulfilling life experiences and joy.

So during this Thanksgiving and Christmas season, remember to give thanks. Just say "thank you" and your world will get brighter and sweeter.

Linda Simmon, C.Ht.
www.newhypnotherapy.com

Gratitude for Prosperity - By Galina Pembroke

Whatever situation we are presently in, or anticipate ourselves in the future, we can embrace the gifts of gratitude. Many of us, however, are reluctant to practice this life-enhancing pursuit. This is reasonable. After all, there are almost as many misconceptions stopping us, as there are reasons to be grateful. By understanding how gratitude-consciousness really works and can work for us, we are taking the first step to a life rich with joy and abundance.

Gratitude for empowerment

Gratitude doesn't means blindly accepting our circumstances, or limiting our potential for a better future. On the contrary, gratitude nurtures positive feelings that encourage us to rise above our circumstances and claim the joy and prosperity that is rightfully ours.

At some point, almost all with struggle with financial strain, emotional havoc or lonely nights. Yet, we can still pay attention to the first beam of morning sunlight, the reflected light of a dewdrop, or the rapturous song of a neighboring bird.

Gratitude is empowering. It acknowledges that whoever we are and wherever we are on life's path, we have helped produce many situations for which to be grateful. Gratitude is like a garden. When we affirm our role in establishing past prosperity and joy, we set up fertile soil for more of these blessings to bloom.

With a better appreciation of ourselves, we are able to resist feeling undeserving and guilty. Instead, we can enjoy our luxuries without emotional-resistance. The dilemma in declaring our own personal power, is that conversely, we must also take responsibility for past negatives. We have a role in our losses as well as our victories. However, once apologies have been made it is time to move forward.

Welcoming positives without resenting negatives helps remove our barriers to receiving heartfelt desires. In Conversations with God, author Neale Donald Walsh states:

"When you thank God in advance for that which you choose to experience in your reality, you, in effect, acknowledge that it is there . . . in effect".

Whenever we recognize the variety of normally overlooked treasures in our life, and acknowledge our ability to create and preserve these gifts, we are empowering ourselves to amass even more. This is part of the principle of focus and expansion: What you focus on expands in your life.

Oprah Winfrey has said:

"If you focus on what you have, you'll end up having more. If you focus on what you lack, you will never have enough. That is a guarantee".

Gratitude embraces abundance because it gives us the motivation to acquire abundance. Gratitude facilitates enjoyment of what we have. Intuitively, we know that if we cannot enjoy the fruits of our efforts, they are not worth working towards.

Gratitude allows us to feel indulgence in the ordinary; morning coffee, fresh air, a cool wind during dry heat. When we are content in the present, striving for the future becomes anticipation instead of agony.

One problem many have with gratitude, is the memory of being falsely thankful. We all have negative experiences with faking appreciation. Who doesn't remember sweating over a thank-you note, simply because it's proper. This isn't gratitude; it is manners.

The universe doesn't respond to this, because we can't fool our higher power. Real gratitude comes from the heart; it is the capacity to care for and about that which we truly value. For some this may be material: That final mortgage payment, repair-free car or brand new bicycle.

Others may cherish long-term friendships, an honest and dependable partner, or the promise of relaxing retirement years. Wanting these things is not "greedy", and does not limit our gratitude. Only when we believe that there is nothing valuable in our life now, do we risk heading towards the greed trap. Without gratitude for the now, blind desire can causes us to destroy relationships, health, and spirit; all in the attempt to procure the elusive "object" that we feel will complete us.

Keeping a gratitude journal

A gratitude journal is a relaxing and creative way to focus on the positive. It is a constant reminder of the daily joys that we have a tendency to overlook- especially when times get tough. A gratitude journal helps curb anxiety, by diverting attention away from late payments and argumentative coworkers; and onto favorite people, books, foods and the like. Your journal can be as simple or as complex as you desire. After all, you are its' creator!

With my gratitude journal I follow a conventional path: I begin by using the day as my title, and follow with a numbered list of "gratitudes" below. Your muse might be more visual. Some keep a scrapbook of pasted pictures. This excites the eyes, and is an instant reminder of life's little pleasures.

A gratitude journal also has a therapeutic purpose. Flipping through our pages of joyful observations after a "Murphy's Law" day, can remind us that despite our current frustrations, there are fantastic feelings on the way

Gratitude as an affirmation

Gratitude is a type of affirmation: One that says "I enjoy and value the good in my life and trust that more will come my way". How does this thankful-thinking help us? Without it we cannot claim our divine right to enjoy the now. There will always be something we lack, for the simple reason that we cannot have two opposing things at once.

If we are single, we long for partnership. Once married, we miss our independence. Relying on possessions for satisfaction can cause similar grief. If we buy something on the premise that it will complete us we will always be disappointed: We are already complete.

Gratitude for ourselves as we are today, will let us walk through the universal doors of true prosperity. This is not selfish. Fully valuing ourselves means that we would never harm others or ourselves in the quest for possessions. Therefore, when we obtain the material comforts we deserve, we can choose to enjoy them with others.

In his book The Sky's The Limit, Dr. Wayne Dyer advises: "If you decide to surrender your past whenever it inhibits you from thinking, feeling or behaving effectively in the present, "your past" will rapidly come into the No-Limit Perspective".

Everyday we have a choice. We can feel pride in our capabilities and successes, or dwell on mistakes and losses. Choosing to fixate on errors and regret creates more guilt. Living in the past means devaluing the present.

When we do not appreciate the myriad of blessings surrounding us now, we risk taking them for granted. Since many of our blessings are people, it is worth forgiving ourselves if only for their sake. Otherwise, in the future, we will again have guilt. By being thankful, we can stop this cycle.

Unfortunately, many live by the subconscious motto: "If it's good it won't last." This happens when we lose something or someone we are deeply attached to. Not wanting to be further disappointed, we build a resistance to love. Being deeply grateful is an experience of pure warmth and unity.

By fearing attachment, we limit its capacity to reach us. One way to dissolve this block, is to accept that everything on our earthly plane is temporary. Though numbing ourselves to opportunities and luxuries may make it hurt less when they're gone, we are doing ourselves an injustice by not accepting the gifts of life.

To live fully, we must recognize the rose in full flower, absorb the deep beats of our favorite song, and savor our morning coffee. We must be grateful for those near us who share these gifts, while recognizing that every moment and person, one day will cease.

These seconds are worth prizing, though, like the bright dawn they must dissolve into colorless night. Yet the sun will rise again. We take it for granted, but it is something to be thankful for.